Prodigal
by xxStargazer
Summary: "You were never second best!"  Rachel shouted. Jesse shook his head and looked straight into her eyes. "But somehow you always chose him." Possible spoilers for 2x22 New York.  Slight AU, future fic. Jesse/Rachel.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Prodigal

By: xxstargazer

Genre: Romance/Angst

Pairing: Jesse/Rachel

Summary: "You were never second best!" Rachel shouted. Jesse shook his head and looked straight into her eyes. "But somehow you always chose him." Possible spoilers for 2x22 New York. Slight AU, future fic. Jesse/Rachel.

Author's Note: This will be a multi-chapter fic. It was inspired by my frustrations with 2x21 Funeral and 2x22 New York. Canon sucks. The St. Berry ship is far superior to the plastic and fake ship that is Finchel.

_Run away, run away_

_Like a prodigal_

_Don't you wait for me_

_-Prodigal by One Republic_

"_That wasn't planned."_

The words echoed in Jesse's head as he packed his remaining clothes into his suitcase. No matter what he did, he kept replaying each horrible scene in his head.

"_Jesse what are you doing here?"_

"_You're just jealous…"_

"_It was the superman of kisses! It came with its own cape, right Rachel?"_

He zipped up his suitcase and closed his eyes, trying his best to ignore the stabbing feeling in his chest.

He had felt this only once before and it was also because of _her_.

_Why did everything always have to be about her?_

Jesse slowly rubbed his forehead and slowly breathed in and out.

He was stronger than this; at least that is what he kept trying to tell himself. He was Jesse St. James for god sakes—not bumbling and clumsy Finn Hudson…

_But he kissed her…_

…_and she kissed him back.._

"Fuck." He cursed under his breath.

He leaned his forehead against the wall and slammed his fist into it, leaving a noticeable dent.

But he couldn't feel the physical pain, he couldn't feel at all…

A single tear fell down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away. His dreams of stardom never hurt him—his arrogance yes, but never his dreams. He was going to chase after them.

He wasn't going to let anybody stand in the way anymore. Not Shelby, Vocal Adrenaline, and especially not Rachel.

Jesse St. James was going to be a star.

**4 years later…**

"_Breaking news! Broadway Star turned TV sensation, Jesse St. James has just landed his first title movie role with an all-star cast! This is a huge feat for someone that just broke out on the scene 4 years ago." Announced Ryan Seacrest._

_Giuliana Rancic nodded in agreement and smiled. "And we have the esteemed privilege of having him on our show today. Please welcome, Mr. Jesse St. James!"_

_With a beaming smile, Jesse appeared from offstage and waved before taking a seat in between the two E! News hosts._

"Turn that off."

Kurt shrugged and simply muted the volume. "Just because you have issues with him, doesn't mean I do. He's brilliant."

Rachel ignored Kurt and continued chopping up vegetables for her salad. Kurt rolled his eyes and un-muted the TV, much to Rachel's chagrin.

"_It's crazy, what made you decide to come out and become a star after your failed stint at UCLA?"_

"You might want to hear this Rachel…" Kurt teased.

_Jesse got quiet and paused to think about his answer._

"_A girl? You know these big life decisions are usually because of a girl." Ryan implied._

_Giuliana laughed and swatted Ryan in the arm. "Stop egging him on Ryan!"_

_Jesse shook his head. "No, it's fine. I can answer the question."_

Rachel completely stopped chopping her vegetables and watched in curiosity.

"_You know, I made the decision to pursue my career for me. Though, someone taught me a life lesson, which led me make my decision to pursue acting again."_

"_So you mean a girl?" Ryan interjected._

_Jesse laughed. "If you must know, she was in fact a female."_

"_And?" Giluiana inquired._

_Ryan scoffed. "And you told me I was egging him on."_

_The curly haired boy grinned. "I can answer the question, no worries. Though, I am sure my publicist may or may not have a fit. Sorry Sloane!" He said to the camera._

"_Go ahead and pick up where you left off Jesse!" Giuliana nudged. _

_He nodded and continued speaking. "She was somebody that I considered more important than my career at one point. However, like in all failed relationships, stuff went down. I got let down and in the end I realized that my career should come first."_

Rachel blinked in confusion, flashing back to her junior year—specifically a private moment in the Mckinley Auditorium.

"_I used to think that fame was the only thing that mattered, now I realize that there's something that matters to me more."_

"_What?"_

"_You."_

A stir of emotions began to build and she could feel her stomach getting sick. She couldn't listen to it anymore.

"Turn it off Kurt!" She shouted louder than she intended to.

Kurt flinched.

"Geez, no need to shout! I can talk to our RA about roommate abuse. Seriously, Rach."

Kurt turned his head, waiting for a wordy response filled with a slew of SAT vocabulary words, but was instead met with silence. The bubbly brunette's eyes were downcast in concentration.

"Rach." Kurt's voice softened. "You're freaking me out, what's wrong?"

The brunette still didn't respond. Instead a few tears slipped down her face.

"Awww Rach, what's wrong?" Kurt said as he got up from the couch.

Rachel laughed and quickly wiped the tears off her face. "It's just the onion I was chopping."

Kurt shook his head and peered into her salad and pointed to the bowl. "Rachel, there is only lettuce in this bowl."

"Well then I guess it must be my allergies—"

"Just tell me the truth." Kurt said, cutting Rachel off completely.

The brunette closed her eyes. "It's honestly nothing Kurt, just drop it. Okay?'

Kurt raised his hands as a sign of withdrawal. "Okay, if you say so. If you want to own up to your teen drama moment earlier, you can let me know anytime. I only live with you and I'm supposed to be your best…"

"Kurt, please just drop it." Rachel said calmly.

The miva nodded, and retreated to his room, but not without leaving a crack of his door open.

Against her common sense, Rachel quickly grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. She wanted to hear what he had to say. She just had to.

"_I know you can't tell us her name, but can you tell us something about her?"_

_Giuliana and Ryan both looked at him with pleading eyes, eager to get the first scoop._

"_Stars. Gold stars. She used to sign her name with them."_


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Prodigal

By: xxstargazer

Genre: Romance/Angst

Pairing: Jesse/Rachel

Summary: "You were never second best!" Rachel shouted. Jesse shook his head and looked straight into her eyes. "But somehow you always chose him." Possible spoilers for 2x22 New York. Slight AU, future fic. Jesse/Rachel.

Author's Note: Thank you everyone for the wonderful responses! I really appreciate it. I am extremely frustrated with this ship and the whole show in general. I would rather Rachel end up with anyone in canon verse except Finn. I am glad that you readers are here to sympathize with me :)

_We say good-bye_

_I turn my back_

_Run away, run away_

_So predictable_

_-Prodigal by OneRepublic_

Rachel's breath hitched at his response. She could feel herself getting dizzy and her stomach was getting sick again.

She closed her eyes, drowning out the noise from the TV; she couldn't listen anymore.

She quickly shut off the remote and let herself sit down on the couch, soaking up the sound of silence.

_Jesse._

She had thought of him ever single day since she chose Finn the summer before her senior year. Not that Finn was a bad boyfriend, but somehow she couldn't wash _him_ away. When she would talk about New York and theatre, Finn would stare at her blankly—it was moments like those that made her think about him. She would think about how much he would understand and how he would probably make a witty comment about how the greats are dead and how there aren't any more Bernadette Peters' or Patti Lupones in the world.

Though, Finn was a nice, comfortable, a 'Teenage Dream' boyfriend if you will. But he wasn't a leading man, even though Rachel tried many times to convince herself otherwise. She tried to think of him as a male lead in a romantic 90s comedy like _She's All That._ Finn would play the role of the loveable jock and she was would be the witty but beautiful artist (or rather a performer in her case).

That fantasy kept their relationship alive. That is until their Senior year started to come to an end.

It was in April when the reality began to set it. Finn thought that Rachel would ultimately choose Ohio and him over New York and her dream.

He was wrong.

However, their relationship didn't end there. Finn decided to support her dream. He let her go off to New York to attend Tisch with Kurt, while he stayed in Ohio to attend Ohio State on a football scholarship. It started out fine most of freshman year, although they would occasionally fight about Rachel not being able to talk either because she was at a rehearsal or an audition.

Nevertheless, their relationship came to a boiling point at the end of their respective freshman years because Rachel didn't want to go home. She had an internship at the Gershwin Theatre and she wanted to stay in New York for the summer. Finn couldn't take it. Neither could Rachel. So, he gave her the ultimatum, New York or him.

She chose New York. It was her best decision. A month later, she got word from Quinn (who she surprisingly got close to after graduation), that Finn had started to date a Satana Lopez wannabe who was a cheerleader at Ohio State.

Since their break up, Rachel had focused solely on her career, going to auditions not only for Tisch productions, but for Broadway productions. She got rejected constantly for Broadway productions, but she managed to climb her way up in Tisch productions. As a freshman she was in the Enemble while also being the Eliza Dolittle understudy in _My Fair Lady_ (although she never performed as Eliza). When she was a sophomore she was Ilse in _Spring Awakening_, losing out the role of Wendla to some wannabe named Lea Safarti. Now as a junior she was determined to get a lead in a production either at Tisch or on Broadway.

However, her focus _wasn't_ only on her career. She was secretly focused on Jesse, who she watched climb up the Broadway ladder due to his breakout role in _CrossRhodes_. The audience loved him and he was critically acclaimed by all major critics. From _CrossRhodes_ he only got more famous. He landed the lead role on a TV show called _Jazz Hands_, (a show about a struggling high school theatre company). The show won many awards, including an Emmy that he won for Best Actor in a comedy series.

Was she jealous? No. She always knew that he would be successful, with or without her.

Did she miss him?

More than she would ever admit.

* * *

><p>"Seriously Jesse? She signed her name with gold stars? The media will probably never stop badgering you about this thing…especially now that you are in the talks to do this movie—." Sloane complained, before noticing that Jesse was not paying attention at all.<p>

He was sitting down on his sofa, staring blankly into his TV's empty screen. He was in deep thought, primarily because he was shocked at his own loose tongue.

_Why did he allude to Rachel?_

He scrunched his forehead, ignoring Sloane who was loudly tapping her foot in frustration. She ran her fingers through her dark hair and let out a cry of frustration.

"Jesus Jesse, this is going to affect the movie, it's going to—."

"I don't care about the damn movie. I am not going to sign that contract." Jesse said defiantly.

The publicist raised her sleek eyebrow and he could see the flames in her brown eyes. He knew he was going to get a verbal lashing, but he didn't care.

"Jesse, I swear, I am about to go into cardiac arrest, I'm about to…"

"Sloane, my heart is not into doing a movie. I love singing and acting; the only reason I branched onto TV, was because the excellent script involved theatrics. This movie is serious and lacks the theatrics that I love—."

Sloane rubbed her forehead, trying to process exactly what her client was trying to say. She took a deep breath and sat down next to Jesse.

"So, you want to go back to Broadway?" She asked calmly.

Jesse shook his head.

"No. I want to go back to school; I want to go to Tisch."


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Prodigal

By: xxstargazer

Genre: Romance/Angst

Pairing: Jesse/Rachel

Summary: "You were never second best!" Rachel shouted. Jesse shook his head and looked straight into her eyes. "But somehow you always chose him." Possible spoilers for 2x22 New York. Slight AU, future fic. Jesse/Rachel.

Author's Note: This is just a transition chapter. Trust me, Jesse/Rachel will meet soon.

_Everyone's the same_

_Our fingers to our toes_

_We just can't get it right_

_But we're on the road_

_-All Falls Down by OneRepublic_

"_Jesse, I swear to god, if you are f****** with me, I am going to murder you!" Sloane screamed._

_The brunette put her hands on her forehead shaking her head in frustration. It looked like she was on the verge of a mental breakdown._

_As a last resort she did the only thing she could do; she looked at him pleadingly, but the actor shook his head. _

"_I am serious Sloane, I am going to take some time off and go to school."_

_Sloane's eyes flared up again, but they had no effect on Jesse whatsoever. He was determined to stick to his decision._

"_I'm going back to school Sloane, that's final."_

"_But what about the show?" She asked, trying to hide the defeat in her tone._

"_We film in New York, maybe they can schedule around my school hours. I don't care. All I know is that no one is going to changing my mind."_

_Sloane sighed in defeat, observing Jesse's eyes. She had worked with him long enough to know that she couldn't argue any further._

"_Okay."_

* * *

><p>A week later Jesse started taking classes at NYU. He got treated just like any other student, much to his surprise. Except for the occasional fan girl, no one bothered him. He was left to his studies and he was not disappointed.<p>

He learned new acting techniques, different ways to belt, and a slew of other things in his general education classes, except this time he was trying. Unlike at UCLA where he assumed he knew everything; the new and older Jesse understood he wasn't God.

One thing that he was surprised about was how he managed to not run into Rachel. Not that he thought about her all the time, it was just something that he knew because Shelby mentioned how proud she was of Rachel for getting a full-ride to Tisch two years ago.

_Rachel_.

He hadn't thought about her for a long time, but since his interview and entering NYU he couldn't help but be reminded of her. Tisch was the ultimate ground for musical theatre super stars but he hadn't seen her.

Jesse sighed and sipped his latte that was laced with a bit of soymilk, a habit that he got used to since dating Rachel.

He was lost in thought, but a high-pitched male voice disrupted this.

"Jesse?"

The curly haired boy looked up from his latte and caught eyes with Kurt Hummel. Jesse let his mouth curve into a slight smirk. The boy hadn't changed in a bit. He was wearing a fitted khaki trench coat with a brown pageboy hat, while sipping on what he was sure was a venti caramel macchiato.

"Kurt, how are you?" Jesse asked politely, motioning for him to take a seat.

Contrary to what one would think, he was completely fine with Kurt despite the fact that he was Rachel's best friend. Mainly because he was one person that sided with him, not Finn Hudson.

"_Jesse, wait!" _

_Jesse turned around, unfortunately meeting the eyes of Kurt, not Rachel._

"_What, Kurt?" Jesse snapped._

_The flamboyant boy shrugged. "If it's worth anything, I have always rooted for you. Finn has always been an idiot when it comes to Rachel."_

_Jesse nodded, forcing a half-smile. "Thanks Kurt."_

"So the rumors are true, you really are attending NYU." Kurt said, pointing to his NYU student ID that was poking out of his messenger bag.

"Yeah, I am." Jesse answered back nonchalantly.

Jesse took a sip of his coffee, trying his best not to crumble beneath Kurt's assessing gaze. He knew that the Ethel Merman wannabe, wanted so bad to mention Rachel and from the looks of it he was about to.

"So, are you going to try out for the musical? It's going to be _Funny Girl_ this year."

Kurt smiled and looked down. He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew how much _Funny Girl_ meant to both Rachel and Jesse, and maybe—just maybe it would be the catalyst to getting the two to at least talk. After all, who else would be casted as Fanny and Nick? Jesse and Rachel were perfect for the roles.

Kurt then looked up, barely catching the flash of curiosity in Jesse's eyes.

"I think I am going to leave the musical alone. I already have had my fair share of stage time. No need to intrude on some students' glory."

Jesse mentally slapped himself. He saw the flyer and was already actively thinking about trying out for the musical. Not that it had anything to do with Rachel, because it didn't. He wanted to try out for himself. He loved musical theatre, acting for television had always be secondary.

Kurt scoffed. "If you say so St. James. I know we don't know each other well, but anyone can see that musical theatre is like crack to you."

Kurt glanced at his watch, realizing that he had to meet Rachel to discuss song choices. However, he knew that he had to exit with a great one liner. He needed Jesse to try out because of Rachel. He saw his best friend's reaction to Jesse's interview, he knew that Rachel wasn't over him.

"Well I got to go Jesse, I hope I will see you at auditions." Kurt said abruptly, before grabbing his coffee and pushing his seat back under the table.

Jesse nodded. "Well, it was nice speaking to you again."

Kurt nodded back and made his way to the Starbucks' exit, but not before turning around.

"She thinks about you too, you know."

Jesse's jaw slowly dropped and the door slammed shut before he could ask any questions.


	4. Chapter 4

_Come home_

_Cause I__'__ve been waiting for you_

_For so long_

_For so long_

_And right now there's a war between the vanities_

_But all I see is you and me_

_-Come Home by OneRepublic_

* * *

><p>Today was the day.<p>

Rachel Berry was finally going to get the part that she deserved. She was going to get the iconic role of Fanny Brice—there was no room for failure. She had been dreaming of this role since the age of six and there was no way she was going to let anyone get in her way. Though, the memory of watching Jesse's televised interview was slightly funkifying her.

_"She was somebody that I considered more important than my career at one point. However, like in all failed relationships, stuff went down. I got let down and in the end I realized that my career should come first."_

Rachel closed her eyes to gather her thoughts. She couldn't let Jesse St. James put her in a funk. She had been waiting for her chance to truly shine since her freshman year, where she got cheated out of being Eliza Doolittle.

"I don't hear you vocalizing Rach!" Kurt chirped as he walked into her room.

Kurt smirked as Rachel started doing her 'Ah' exercise up and down the scale.

_If only she knew she was about to get the surprise of her life…_

The miva chuckled as he imagined the drama that was going to go down.

Jesse. Rachel. Rachel and Jesse, they were the two most over dramatic people he had ever encountered—but they were perfect for each other.

_Now all Jesse had to do was show up._

* * *

><p>Jesse lurked a block away from the auditorium. Auditions started in fifteen minutes, but he couldn't bring himself to walk over.<p>

'_What if Rachel was there?' _

Who was he kidding? Of course he knew Rachel would be there because it's _Funny Girl_; it was _her_ show.

Jesse sighed. He came to school for himself, not for Rachel. He had already proven he could be successful and he was in a good place. He didn't need someone ruining it for him—especially not Rachel Berry.

Somehow though, his feet remained frozen. Not out of nervousness, but out of fear. Fear that seeing her would make him feel like the wounded teenager he was when she shattered his heart into a million pieces.

In other words, although he "moved on" with his life, thinking about Rachel still cut like a knife. It not only rubbed salt in an old wound but it roused anger within him. Anger derived from the fact that he hated that someone like Rachel affected him so much.

He balled his hand into a fist. He was going to get what he wanted, despite Rachel. The role of Nicky Arnstein was going to go to him. Rachel be damned.

* * *

><p>Rachel grinned in satisfaction. The auditorium was packed with dozens of Fanny hopefuls and she was sure she was at the top of the list. Her biggest competition, Lea Sarfati had left Tisch to pursue a career on Broadway; other than that she had no competition. The rest of the girls were either good singers or good actresses. They weren't both (except for her of course). She was sure to get Fanny without a problem. She could feel it in her veins-it was her year to shine.<p>

"Everybody listen up. Please line up on the stage. Girls on one side, guys on the other."

In a rush of whispers and shuffling everyone quickly scrambled to their spots.

From across the stage, Rachel mouthed good luck to Kurt. The boy soprano smiled and mouthed good luck back.

"I know you all are excited. Broadway has yet to do a revival, despite how long it has been; so, doing this musical will most definitely draw a huge audience. However, auditions are going to run a little different this year. I know we traditionally start-."

The director suddenly stopped speaking and lifted his gaze to the back of the auditorium. Everyone on the stage did the same, except for Rachel who was too busy being focused on thinking about the changes of the audition process. Though, it was getting hard to ignore the loud whispering among her fellow auditionees.

"What is he doing here?"

"I hope he doesn't think his Tony and Emmy award automatically make him Nick Arnstein."

The whispering then started to a loud swell, irritating the director.

"Quiet!"

Everyone immediately fell silent, causing Rachel to fall out of focus.

'_Why is everybody in awe?'_

Out of curiosity, Rachel turned around. Her eyes widened and she could feel her breath leave her lungs.

There he was in all his glory. His eyes were as blue as ever, and his curly coifed hair was still the same, but she could sense that he was different, hardened even.

Rachel shook her head and tried to look away but some weird magnet kept her head turned towards him.

'_Please don't look at me_.' She silently thought to herself.

But it was too late-Rachel Berry was a goner.

In nervousness she gulped, swallowing her saliva. This was way too early to be facing him. She had heard _murmurs_ about him being at NYU, but that's all she thought it was—_murmurs_.

She quickly looked away and focused on the director. Jesse couldn't distract her; she needed to attain this role.

"Focus everybody!" The director yelled again.

After yelling, the stout director paced the stage with affirmative strides. "Now, before I begin, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dr. Chase, associate professor of musical theatre here at Tisch. Before giving out audition directions, let me make this clear, previous roles and experience don't mean anything to me. All I care about is what you present in your audition today. Is this clear?"

Everyone on stage nodded and virtually every male sighed in relief. This meant that Jesse did not have an edge.

"Now, St. James join the males on the stage."

Jesse complied and obediently joined the other males on the stage.

"Listen up everybody, the audition process will be simple. There will be two phases: singing and reading. The reading part will be traditional, I will assign readings to certain people and then he or she will read when it is their turn. However, the singing part will be different. You will not be singing songs from the show. You will be singing pop songs with duet partners. Why duets and pop? The answer is simple; if a duet is successful it proves that you can work well with others while shining yourself. The pop part is to see if you can show character while singing, without having a predetermined vision of how your character should be like."

Once he finished that sentence, both the male and female sides began eyeing each other. Everyone wanted the best duet partner.

"I can see that you guys are already eager, but to take the pressure off, I have taken the courtesy of assigning everyone a partner. Once I name your partner, you will take a slip of paper from the jar downstage which will have the name of your song on it. Now for the first duet partners…"

Rachel breathed in deeply and took note on the amount of people in the room. There was a slim to none chance that Jesse would be her partner.

'_The odds are in my favor-there is no way that Jesse could be my-"_

"Berry and St. James."


End file.
